The Difference

From my childhood some stupid thoughts always used to disturb me like hell! I was sensitive n silent child. So those questions raised  inside me n died off there itself, without any kind of answers....

From the day i heard about "suicide", the actual facts about it, it somehow became one fascinating thing for me! It may sound so funny or so depressing but i was always curious to know what is it exactly!? Why does people think of killing themselves?! God, its so   impractical!..

For so many years i was followed by those thoughts! It was obvious that somehow i was also trapped into those thoughts...
whenever i faced some failure, the thought of suicide follow me. Whenever i stand alone doing some really disgusting things, again this suicide thought follows me! But its really not like that i want to do that extreme thing! No!!! A BIG NO!!!... Whenever i think of suicide n start planning how to do that, in that whole process i always able to start thinking positively! Coz, what i feel somewhere down there inside my little heart i know i cant leave this world so easily! :) Or it will not be that easy for me to do that!! Seriously! In that whole process i start feeling the never feeling  love for ma family ma freinds everyone!Even if due to some person i was thinking about suicide, then its not a strange part if i start feeling soft for him/her too!!! Thats why, i never worry about ma suicide thoughts!

And right now after growing up as a lady (Full Fledged!!), i have controls on ma thought!

But no one can change that easily!

That day i was feeling very low! Those stupid stupid thoughts was about to be heavy on me! I connected ma net and star Googling! Some thoughts about life, inspiring n beautiful! I searched some pics... Suddenly ma eyes got stuck on dis pic which m publishing today on ma article!.. I started thinking about this person. Alone on the top of a dangerous mountain or hill, whatever it is... He is walking towards the edge! What he is trying to do? My suicide porn mind answered, "Suicide! ya he's going to die now!" I started thinking, God if some one fall down from that height then its impossible to survive anyhow!!... I was excited!...Thrilled!
I opened the link to save the pic. In ma download folder i searched the pic! Ya there it is! but was shocked! Y you know? That pic was named as "Leadership"!!
It was big slap on the face of  ma "suicidal" thinking mind!!!......

Ohh God! it was so inspirational! I really really loved that pic!...

All those stupid thought swiped off by the single glimpse of this picture!...
WOW... Ya got the answer...
I can lead a very happy life if i want to see the happy part of it!...
All i can do is stay happy n optimistic in any circumstances....

YA I Love Ma Life!